Thursday: a little bit of a lie in (whatelse is new!?) and then after rattling round the empty house, I decided to gate crash Sarah's. And I walked! (surprisingly on 32mins door to door, why did I never think to do it before?). Just the quiet, loud, peace chaos of having little people running around. Even if they are sleepy and are thus just perfect for long snuggly cuddles when Mummy needs the loo!:
And then there was good food, crafting talk and doing, catching up. And just being. Sarah is very good at letting me do this. Just being. It's hard to describe. It's nothing "special" in particular but it's perfection in stillness and unwinding (just spent ages searching for the right word, and I'm still not happy, but that will have to do!). I don't feel the pressure to be anything but myself. Which sounds like a stupid statement. Do I really go through life not being myself? No, not really. But I'm usually a label, myself, but a particular version of it. A medical student. A nursing assistant. Enthusiastic about going out. Alone but not minding. Crowded but not minding. Running around. But in these quiet moments (well, it's quiet in a different way, I mean, come on, how quiet can you be with three littles running around!?) I'm none of those labels. And it's so good for me to stop, and be unlabelled! And I always feel calmer and safe and more at peace from my life's stress after these times. I'm not forced to be something, and always being something is draining. I need a break, but I don't always realise it.
And before I realised it, it was late. Where had the time gone?! And a very kind Martin drove me home. But not before I had started to make plans for a very busy Friday.
Friday: Met Emma and Connor at 1pm for some lunch and a wonder around some shops. A lovely catch up and time to spend with two very dear and special people to me. Even if the poor loves were both feeling under the weather following a nasty cold. I can't believe how much Connor has grown. And he's so lovely, so smilely and ready to give me his very biggest grin! Aww, how can I resist such charm!
Then we met up with a solo Sarah, whilst Martin took the girls to a dad's group. Girlie day out! Going wool shopping and wool-lusting. Picking out colours for new projects, and in my case picking up wool for the sake of it.... well, because it was on special, and they were both yarns I have been wanting to try out... now what to do with them!? And going to tea and cake. Can't remember the last time we did this. Just the three (and a bit) of us.
And then time to tag team out friends, and meet more! Lol! My hot sexy SamSam (hehehe! ;) hehe!) and Simon. Dinner at Nandos, with sangria, then back to Sam's for more sangria, Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble and Buzz. Lots of giggles and chatting and catching up with Sam. Trying to get me tipsy! lol! Until Kev came home and again it was a case of a day that flew by. And again, a lovely beautiful day of contrasts and such a wonderful reminder of why I'm so lucky. I have such amazing friends, who all bring out something different in me, and know so well how to keep me entertained and to cheer me up about all the recent events.
Saturday: I had originally planned to go to dinner at Sarah's again, and have a little bit of a games night. But I was getting the distinct impression that my parents were getting miffed about me coming home and STILL not seeing them! So, I cancelled dinner and did the dutiful thing of staying in and relaxing with them. Laughing with my mum in the kitchen as we washed up and got things ready for a birthday meal for my aunt. Awww... I will miss them not being around when I go back to Derby for Easter. It will be so strange being in their house without them. But I'm sure I'll cope.
Sunday: Family day of note! Grandparents, aunt, cousin, parents. Tasty roast. I never get round to doing roasts for just me. I ate so much that I never got round to having pudding, even though mums made a very tasty (looking) pavlova and a sticky toffee pudding. I got my laptop out and showed Gran and Hayley all my knitting and displayed all my crazy new knowledge about knitting techniques, yarn characteristics and dyeing. I think I may have lost them. I did get to show off my newly completed scarf for Farah. It looks so pretty and in sunlight looks much more muted than I was expecting. I'm dead proud on my first lace knitting attempt. I still need to block it so that the pattern shows off properly. But it looks a little like this:
Tuesday: Mumsie's day off. So quality Mumsie time. Chilling out at home watching rubbish tv movies and nipping into town and browsing round M&S. Such a mummy thing to do! lol! Only spoilt by the gaggle of chav school girls who insisted that my mother had knocked a little toddler that was with them (don't know why they had a kid with them, I'm sure most of them were in uniform). Thing was my mum hadn't even moved her chair! And they were really quite agressive about it. And my mum's not really the sort who handles herself well in these situations. They really bullied her. Annoying bunch of little such and suchs, really upset her.
Wednesday: Special day. I got to see my Godmother, who I've not seen in like a decade. It was lovely to see her. And to feel her love and her positive effect on my parents. She's a cousin (of some sort!) of my dad and when my parents were newly wed with little kids, and my mom's parents lived in England, she was a proxy mum for my mum. She has a very special place in our hearts. How lovely to still be in touch with her and for her to visit.
And then it was time to go back to Bristol. Already put off by a day so I could see Auntie Vonnie.
As you may have noted, I've not mentioned my audit report. It was really pushed to the back of my mind and instead was left as a joy for Bristol.
Derby did exactly what I wanted and needed it to do. It healed me. It destressed me. After the month I had had, I needed the love and support of my friends and family close to me. I wasn't coping very well by myself. I was feeling so low, and on the verge of tears that never came. And so I went back to Bristol with a lighter heart and more at peace with the crash and all it's stress. Some good will come of it (and I think it may already have) and I needed some time, support and perspective. And I've had that now. I feel more relaxed about it. I still feel very sad about it all, and obviously I wish it had never happened. But I'm finally okay with it having happened. I'm still not back to my normal bouncy self. I still feel a little depressed and amotivated but it's improving. And that's what I've got to focus on.
LOL at the "where's Morgan" game!!
ReplyDelete