I feel so conflicted. I'm so excited about the adventures that lie ahead for me, but at the same time, so sad about what I leave behind. Bristol is home. My Mom may hate it when I say that, but Bristol is home. And it's been my home for nearly seven years. It has given me life, hope, fun, tears, laughter, excitment, development. It's the place where I came of age, and came into myself after a difficult four years in Derby. I was so unhappy in Derby, especially when compared to how I have been in Bristol. I got my life back here. It was the best place in the world for me. I've met amazing people, worked here, played here, studied here. Everything. I love it here. And I really wish I wasn't leaving.
I've been telling people that I'm in a suspended state. Nothing feels real. But now that I'm packing, I can't avoid the reality anymore. I am leaving. I'm saying goodbye to my friends and all the inanimate objects that I hold so dear - the places, the shops, the views.
I know I'm leaving for new adventures, via a recharge of the batteries in Derby. I'm so excited about that, with some to-be-expected nerves. It's a dream come true, and one that wouldn't have true without my beloved city. I'm trying not to leave with a heavy heart. But it's hard. And there's still so much unknown ahead. And that's a bit scary, if I'm being honest. What will life in Yeovil be like? What will life as a doctor be like? It's something I've desired for so long, but I don't think anything can prepare me for the actual life of a doctor. And I'm sitting here alone in my now mostly packed up flat, with all these thoughts running through my head. And I really wish there was something to distract me from it all. But there's nothing. I can't avoid the boxes, or the fact that the removals man is coming at 10:30am tomorrow, and I've run out of boxes, as well as the motivation to squeeze things into the little space I have left in my boxes. Tomorrow is going to be an early start, I'm going to rush out and get more boxes, and some breakfast that I can eat without cutlery or plates!
I suppose I better get on with it, if nothing else, I need to head to bed and get some sleep in prep for another busy day. My last full day as a Bristol resident. I wish I had the opportunity to do it justice... but at least I had a chance to do some of that stuff at the weekend with the Clarks.
Moving away from familiar things can be hard, but it can also be the change you need. The move to Bristol obviously did you good, so who knows what Yeovil will bring ... all good I hope.
ReplyDeleteI moved to the south coast from the Midlads 12 years ago now (wow, really that long ago!) and it was the best thing, I feel I belong down here, although I think I shall move further West one day into Cornwall.
Good luck with your move, will you be specialising in anything as a Dr? Hospital or GP? (just being nosey)
xx
Hi Dawn, sorry, your comment seems to have been lost in the ether of the Internet.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words. It *is* very hard, but I really do have to focus on what lies ahead rather than what I leave behind. I'm excited to learn about and explore this new place and new life. And the reality is that I won't actually be that far from Bristol and my friends who will provide sofas to crash on!
For the time being, as a junior doctor, we do a series of jobs - in my case three jobs a year for two years. I will be attached to different wards/specialities through this. Although at my level, the sorts of tasks and responsiblities are very similar regardless of where you are. One of my rotations in the second year will be in General Practice, although I'm fairly certain I don't want to be a GP in the long term. I'm kinda leaning towards obs/gynae, but also like the idea of emergancy medicine. On the whole, I want something that is quite broad, rather than just focusing in on a relatively small area of the body.
And now, after all that, I shall finish waffling!xxx
And now that I've said that, your comment has appeared... *sigh* oh well...
ReplyDeleteGood luck, I'm sure you'll do great. And yeah, friends are never that far away when you need them x
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your break before you move.