GP land

In the last few weeks since I've posted (yeah, yeah, I know!) life has been a chaotic upchurn of things.  I've moved both my home and my job, said goodbye to so much old, and hello to all this new stuff.  It's scary to think just how fast the last year has gone by and just how far I've come.  I feel, in many ways, like a completely new person.  I've changed in many ways.  They say that Med School really doesn't make a doctor, it just gets you on the path.  And it's so true.  I'm now what would have been up to a few years ago, an SHO (senior house officer), which sounds so much more advanced than F2 (what the position is now called) and I have to pinch myself to believe that I'm an SHO!

I feel so much more experienced, yet at times, I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the mountian sized amount of things that I just don't know.  And no where is that more apparent than working as a GP.  There are the simple things like chest infections, that I've seen so many times before and I feel so comfortable with, even the nastier, hairier versions of.  And then there are the things that I've just never seen before, and perhaps have a dusty memory somewhere of, like all the rashes that I get presented with!  I really know so little about dermatology, and chances are, I never will have to.  But it's so frustrating to go from something where I feel so comfortable to something where I have to ask my supervisor about.  The variety of general practise is wonderful, and a challenge that I really thrive on, but some days my confidence really takes a knock!  It's nice to have that safety net of someone to fall back on, but I really do feel lost by it all at times.

My new home is well and truely a home now, with my bags and boxes unpacked, and my junk scattered about.  I love this little space.  It's by far the most grown up place I've ever lived, with it's slick kitchen and nice bathroom.  I feel amazed by the twists and turns of life that have lead me to this place.  I still can't quite believe it at times.  I can't wait to do so much in this space, even though I'm only going to be here for a year.  Just silly little things, like buy extravegant new sheets, with rediculously unnecessarily high thread counts, and getting a new dinner service so that I can retire my well loved and worn set that I've had for about 7 years.  And this time, there'll be no cheap as I can find student budget plates.  I want to really look round and enjoy picking out the right ones.  Silly and dreadfully materialistic, I know, but it's these simple things that bring pleasure to my life - to be able to afford these luxuaries after all those years as a broke student!  And I can't wait to entertain and have people round in this precious little space I call home.