On being a medical student no longer

I think I need to find a new title for my blog! The current one now seems a little redundant! Yup, I am no longer a medical student but something completely different and nw, yet at the same time something that gas been longed for and wanted for so long now. It is well over 10 years now since I officially, definitely decided I wanted to be a doctor. And everything in my life has been leading up to this ever since that 15 year sat in front of ER and said, "that's what I want to do with my life". This I kept to myself at first, carefully plotting and considering. This is something I have never taken lightly. I did ponder long and hard, and walking around it would be all I'd think of. Inmentally composed a pros and cons list. I weighed this up. I thought some more. What would I need to do? What would I need to achieve to get this that I wanted so badly? It was a difficult time in my life. I'm sure those who knew me at the time would testify to the fact that I wasn't always the easiest person to be around. I was a depressed girl whose world had been turned upside down by having to move half a world a way from everything I knew. I was confused and uncertain of myself. But once that decision had been made, I had purpose and drive. A reason to live. There had to be something out there, greater than the world I found myself in. Deciding to become a doctor was my life and my whole world after that. And now... Mission acomplished. And what a ride it has been. The things I've learnt and experienced along the way, how i've grown! Now what... Next stop Yeovil and actually doing the job! How exciting!

Today was a busy day. Besides results, we kept ourselves on he go. We had a really lazy start to the day. After a late night last night following Morgan's trip to the hospital (she fell on a dirty rusty nail in the park, so Sarah was concerned about tetenus risk). We brought breakfast on the go, went to the post office, picked up a parcel (most beautiful spindle you ever did see and some utterly gorgeous fibre) went to the toy shop, went to the camera obscura in Clifton which was amazing, trekked home, got the good news, went swimming, had pizza for dinner, had some friends over for champagne and celebrating, my two world colliding, Bristol and Derby friends, in a happy coherent place, full of love, laughter and games. I could not ask for better friends and I'm so glad to have had . And now, we're once again exhausted. I will sit down at some point and do a proper blog about it all. But for now, my lids are heavy and we have another very busy day planned! Yay!

ETA:  my iPhone didn't want to play last night, so this is a delayed posting!  Ooops!

I can't sleep!

Thank goodness for iPhones, huh? I'm utterly unable to sleep and because I've got a housefull of visitors, all snuggly, cozily squished in, I can't get to my laptop. I can't just get up and switch lights on and sit and knit...or spin. I have a real craving to do some spinning right now. The slow rhythmic nature or getting that spindle going and gently drafting out some gorgeous fibre... Yup, a right old craving. Not that I'm complaining in the slightest, I'm loving my housefull and the crazy, but loving chaos. And I'm so glad to have company... But it's officially now results day... And a year since... Well a year since my life officially fell apart. Will this year be any different? I know it's completely irrational, but I'm actually expecting the worst. This year has turned me into such a selfdoubter that I can't even visualise passing. It's just too wierd a concept. 4pm... What will you hold for me?

So that's why I can't sleep right now. My stomach's churning, nausea never far away. I had managed to forget about today for a while with my visitors here, but as we were saying good night, we talked about our plans for today... And besides wanting to pick up my new spindle that is currently being held hostage by royal mail, my thoughts finally returned to what today is. And now I can't stop thinking about it.

And I suppose the other factor here for my restlessness is the fact that I've just done 4 night shifts, so my body clock is a little skewed, but still this is redicilous, and there's so much we have planned for the next few days, I just hope I'm not going to be a zombie through it. So, Clark family, I apologise now if I am. But I'm so grateful that you are here, hopefully to share in my good news and for your distractions and love. I really wouldn't have it any other way.

Shiney new toy

Haha! How cool is this? I have a brand new gadget to play with! Yup that's right, I have given into temptation (and maybe a tad bit of peer pressure!) and got myself a shiney new phone, and an iPhone at that. I'm still getting
used to it all, but it's fun to play! I don't think that this is a very effecient way to write blog posts, but it's nice to know that it's there for emergancy, on the go posts. And now, off to bed!