And that's it. All the heart ache and stress, and now... nothingness. I feel so exhausted by the rollercoaster that has been the last few days, especially after an absolutely rubbish night's sleep, where I kept on waking up drenched in sweat (Yeah, I know, eeeeewww!).
So how did it go...? I wish I knew how to answer that. One the whole, I don't think it was too bad, but when I sit and analyse it, there's so many shoulda, woulda, coulda aspects to it. Will these add up? Oh man, this waiting is awful. I believe that I came across as relatively confident. I don't feel like I was overwhelmed with the nerves, although, I did bumble at times. The patient was lovely, sweet and completely coherent, which is always useful. I had time to spare, and they asked me lots of questions, which I believe I answered honestly and hopefully adequately. I just have to wait now... and boy I wish I didn't.
I have decided that I will return to Derby today for a while. I need the company and support. Being alone all the time, here in Bristol is not going to do wonders for me. Yup, at the grand old age of 26, I want my mommy!
Ah there are times in life when every bit of you just shouts, "I want to go home" even long past the time when "home" in that sense really exists. I hope, in being with your family, you find the comfort you need and the refreshment and renewed inspiration to keep working hard.
ReplyDeleteI still have everything crossed for you. I KNOW you are amazing, I wish I could come find your examiners and tell them that! I hope your exams allow your spark to shine out, and that they are able to recognise the true extent your skill and passion. xxx