The next round of "the day before..."

The countdown is most certainly on now.  The first written exam is tomorrow.  And it feels like it isn't really happening to me.  At this point with the long case a couple of weeks ago, I was certainly feeling it.  But now, just... numb...  Yup, I think numb sums it up best.  I feel suspended in this state of ... I don't know how to describe it.  It's strange... I just hope it ends soon, and I can get back to feeling like me.

There has been this huge danger all along, and I've really tried hard to fight it, of being complacent, I passed all the other exams last year really comfortably.  I've really been struggling against the feeling that I don't really need to work for it.  I have managed to work, but I still feel so guilty that I haven't worked as hard as I did last year.  But I had this sudden thought this evening (yup, it was something that only just struck me!), I'm not starting in the same place as I was last year.  I'm not back to the beginning, so maybe I shouldn't be beating myself up too much.  Arrrgh, it's such a difficult thing to strike a balance on.  I don't think I'll ever be able to work it so that I'm happy.  But time will tell...

Anyhows, should probably get back to some last minute cramming!  But before I do, my most recent projects.  A sweater for Connor, that was going to be for his birthday, but that seems so far away, so it'll be just because!  Just need to block it and get some buttons.  And then a little bit of spinning, finishing off the silk hankies.  I soaked it in order to set the twist, and well, it stank like crazy.  A really strong fishy odour.  It's hanging outside to dry, but I'm torn between bringing it in in case it rains, and it stinking out my flat.  I've been told that the smell should fade, and will only be noticeable when it's wet, but for now, it's 72 metres of stinkiness!