I think I've at long last recovered from Friday and it's build up. It's been a harsh journey, much more so than I realised, but then the weekend came, and... well I'm glad I came home, I really needed that support. I've been utterly exhausted, teary, headachy and just very down. Is this what stress is? It's not what I thought "stress" would be, but I can't think of any other explanation. It's so surreal, and not me at all. I knew that it was a tough build up to Friday, but I didn't think that I felt stressed. This all sounds a little bizarre - how can I not know myself and my physical and emotional response to such pressure? I don't know, I suppose this is the most intense period of stress in my life, and I suppose I've just not reacted/responded how I thought I would. One thing I do know is that I'm not expressing myself very well here, and I'm just coming off as a little strange...
The weekend wasn't the most productive time, although I'm not sure if I really mind this. I was talking to the people I was living with in Weston and they all pretty much said they would take the weekend off, so maybe I should have set off with that attitude. Pushing myself to revise probably wasn't beneficial, but I suppose no harm was ultimately done. I'm trying to build myself up again into a rhythm of lots of work and lots of revising. I'm getting there... slowly. I feel less tired today than I have in a while, and I can pretty much guarantee that I'll get a headache in the next couple of hours and just want to curl up into a ball and sleep. But I was able to fight this yesterday courtesy of some paracetamol and a cup of tea, and just sitting in a semi-darkened room and taking it easy.
I've been spinning like mad and doing a little bit of knitting here and there as a distractor/post dinner time filler. I've mainly been working on my blue, lilac and pink stole, it's slowly growing, although I am fast approaching the end of my first skein (at last!) and I didn't bring the other one... ooops! And I'm about 60% through spinning the singles out of that coloured top, and I'm not sure if I want to ply on my green spindle, so the end of that project is coming soon here in Derby, as I didn't bring either of my other spindles. Mmmm, I may have to just revise - shock horror! Lol! I've got lots of wool here, from the Easter dyeing, but none of my needles, so I could raid my mums... but I'd also need to think of what I wanted to do with it all! And that all just might be too big of a distraction for now...
Well I would hate to be too much of a distraction from productive work, but if you're having a non-productive day, come make ice-cream and borrow a crochet hook. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, well, you are a little strange. But I love you loads, and I think if you didn't have an unusual reaction to the amount of pressure you have been under, THAT would be abnormal.
I loves you too! It's so hard (for me at least!) to express how I've been feeling. Yeah I've been stressed before, but it's never felt like this.
ReplyDeleteOoooh, ice-cream.... oooh, crochet... hehehe! It's very tempting. Clearly, it's not going to happen today, but I could be pursaded tomorrow perhaps? I'd have to see how things were all going. And like I said, there are ways around the no needle issues, but it requires that I know WHAT I want to make and with which yarn! Lol! But crochet would be nice. I actually found a hook here last time I was home... now where did I put it? Have a feeling it was a small one, possibly a lace weight sort.
Lol we have quite a crowd here tomorrow (though you are welcome, and it does mean that ice-cream is a real likelihood lol).
ReplyDeleteI really hope that you start to feel more like yourself. It must be impossible not to stress about everything. xxx
Ohh, quite a crowd? That could be dangerous! Who's coming round? And what sort of times? Oh man, this is dangerous, I'll have to bargin with myself (yup, how sad is that!) that I can come if I do x amount of work... mmm, I'll prob have to decide tomorrow.
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