Let's give it a go!

Hi,

My name is Ashleigh van Tonder. I'm 25years old and live in Bristol, well mostly! I am a final year medical student. I'm always been told by the powers that be, that I should be more reflective, as this will make me a better doctor. And I'm thinking that if I should start being reflective at any point in time, it's this. You see, I've just started my final year of medical school, the second time over - I failed my finals last year... There are definitely things that need to be improved to ensure a more successful year.

I've been at uni now for six and a bit years. I've loved almost every moment of it, and I really try to avoid the word regret, as I believe that we are all the people we are as we have been shaped by our experiences. And saying you regret something implies a certain degree of dis-satisfaction in yourself. Having said that, I find it very very hard to say that I don't regret having failed. I think I really was ready to move on to the next stage of my life.

All in all, I think that I have handled this state of affairs relatively well. This is mainly due to the amazing support I have recieved from all of my friends. Especially my friends in Derby. Derby is my other "home" - where I spend the last couple of years at school and where my parents live. I spend far more of my time in Bristol, however, so I don't get to see my Derby friends very often, so I can't help but reflect on how accommodating they have been. They just let me slot into their lifes and let me be me. There was no pressure to disect what had happened, no questions thrust at me, just wonderful support. I just spent time with them, as they went about their day-to-day lifes.

And the most important thing I learnt from this was a very valuable one that I will try to remember and cling onto as the year ahead progesses. There is a life outside of medicine. As medical students we are constantly reminded about the fact that being a doctor is a way of life. It's incredibly demanding and everything else comes a distant second. I've been so focused on becoming a doctor for the last six years, I've often forgot that other people's lifes don't revolve round the same things mine do. Spending time with my friends and their families, seing how content and happy they are with their interpretations of living, reminds me that the world does not end when I step outside the hospital. Whilst, yes, I don't think in the slightest that I want to change what I'm doing, it really is not the be-all and end-all. Life goes on...