Well, I'm still alive! Somehow. Time is dragging here, and in a bizarre kind of way, I'm actually looking forward to my road trip to Hereford tomorrow (look it up on a map, I had to! Heard of it before, no idea where it was!). I've not heard positive things about the drive, but ooooh well, at least it'll be something to do. Which is better than today. We had a 9am tutorial and then that was it. I suppose I could have been more pro-active and hit the wards to clerk afterwards, but I felt like an exhausted zombie, so I plodded home via tescos (no milk = no tea = disaster!) and stocked up.
And then came home and did a little bit of reading, watched a little "tv" then gave up completely and crawled into bed. Really struggled to sleep - let's blame the bed, but eventually did nap for a couple of hours, so hopefully I've caught up on the sleep I missed over the weekend and that I've not been getting because of the bedsprings sticking into my sides. I've gotten so used to my lovely memory foam mattresses (both in Bristol and Derby) that I've forgotten this joy.
I spent a little more time chatting to my new flatmate (whose name I can't remember... oops!) and she's been wonderful and brought along a whole bunch of pots, pans, crockery and basically saved the day, bless her! And so we can actually cook semi-decent meals. Although, when at tescos, I mainly stocked up on things that would require minimal pots, e.g. pizza, salad, pies, stuff for pitta bread pizzas (for lunches/other lighter meals), jacket potatoes and fruit. Miss calculated the number of tea bags I had left, so now I'm down to my last one for breaky tomorrow. Oh man, I can't live without my tea :( Lol, enough with the dramatics!
I've spent this evening doing some knitting (almost at the heel of the second sock now) and starting to rank my jobs, which is the next part of my job application for junior doctor jobs i.e. the next (hopefully!) two years of my life. I've basically got a list of all 272 jobs that will available for junior doctors in the deanery (the collection of hopitals approx within 1hour radius of Bristol) and I have to rank them in order of my preferences as to which ones I want. It's harder than it sounds, and it feels a little pointless, as I know for a fact I didn't score very well on my application and thus am not likely to get anywhere near the top of my list. I've ranked all the jobs that have some obs & gynae in them at the top (all 39 of them!) in some sort of thought through order as this is the speciality that I'm leaning most towards. But it's also one of the most popular, so the chances of me getting one of these 39? Put it this way, I'm not optimistic. And then how do I rank the other 230 odd jobs?
This whole thing has been made extra stressful as it's one of those things that I've done before with so much excitement and anticipation... and now... and now I'm not feeling it at all. It's just a horrible reminder of all that's happened. And whilst it has quite brought me to tears, I do find that I'm facing quite a mental hurdle to do it. But it is interesting to see how my reasonings for ranking have changed. Last year it was Obs/Gynae jobs, then paeds, then jobs which had both years in the same place, and then more randomly. And I put so much effort into it. Giving all the jobs a score out of 5 as to what I thought/felt about the rotations included in them. And of course I got rid of all the paper that I did this on! And I don't have the energy or inclination to do that again this year, although it was kind of useful. This year, my priorities are more along the line of Obs/Gynae jobs, jobs with first year in Bristol (would be useful to be able to stay in my flat), maybe jobs with A&E placements (I really enjoy A&E and is prob next on my list of possible specialties after Obs&Gynae - I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something with picking the jobs with the anti-social hours!), and then... don't know. Not sure if I really care. I'm going to have to stop for tonight anyway, and maybe think about it on my commute tomorrow.
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