A week in Derby... and a week in Yeovil

Back on the trains, nine days later... Nine days sounds like so long, but it's really not! It's flown by all too quickly. I wish I could have turned it in to longer. Which is ridiculous, I hardly have a demanding or tiring rotation at the moment. But maybe that's the problem, I know that this week has speed by because I have been so busy and surrounded by those I hold so dear, and I'm heading back towards something which I'm not fully enjoying. It's so silly, I find myself quite conflicted about my feelings towards GP land. It's not what I want to do, I don't want to be there, I'm frustrated by the buses and how expensive they are, my budget is being gobbled up by spending nearly £40 a week on buses plus the couple of misadventures when I've missed my bus and had to pay for a very expensive taxi. And I miss being at the hospital really badly. I miss being hecticly busy, and getting stuck in. I prefer the roles and responsibilities placed on me by hospital practice. And I miss the comeradery if being there, being able to unwind with my contemporaries and the banter you engage in with the nurses, physios, pharmacists and all those people. I get annoyed by my lack of knowledge and constantly (or so it seems) having to ask for help. Yet I don't actually have anything to complain about. Everyone in GP land is very sweet and accommodating, and I do enjoy parts of it, like the variety and the different types of patients - it's fun to do a little paeds. Yet it's by far the least passion I've had for any of my rotations, leaving me sitting here on this train, sad that I'm finished my week of annual leave and that tomorrow I'll be back at work.

....

And then another week later - kinda forgot to finish this post.

So Derby:

 You can just about make out the huge spider and beyond - all the apples wasted during the 3 weeks my parents were away.

 My exciting parcel, all squidged down, was:

 Half a coloured Ryeland shearling fleece, completely raw and ready to be worked on.

 The first soak (and my toes!)

 Disgusting and slightly smelly water after the first soak.

 Subsequent soaks getting clearer.

 I got a chance to finish the sweater for Conner.

And knitted a whole lace shawlette for my gran as part of TGCC.  Here's an early shot.

I spent many long but all too quick hours at Sarah's, with her family and Emma and Connor.  It was such a special time, and something I hold so dear.  To just be, in calm chaotic companionship.  We knitted, gossiped, drank endless cups of tea, went for walks with the girls, did a little cooking, a little cleaning and laundry... And apparently, reading that back, somewhere along the way turned into our mothers!  We also went swimming.  I went to the cinema twice, once with my Mum, as a girls night out when my dad was away overnight for work, and then with Jenna, to give her a chance to do something fun and uninterupted by little people.  I went for a lovely dinner with my wonderful Sam (and there may have been other people there, I forget now! ;)).  Really quite busy with simple nothingness.

And on the Saturday, a special muddy and at times very wet walk with so many of my nearest and dearest.

The Attenborough Nature Reserve - a place for the designing of mischief and meyhem.

 E.g. the grownups getting stuck up trees.

 A place where you have to dress appropriately...

... For puddle stomping...

 ...Saying hello to horses...

... Picnicking...

 ... and tickles...

 Feeding...

 ...and then chasing ducks...

 Adults who don't dress appropriately for these activities will do so at their own risk!

 We did find safer ways to feed the ducks.

 And at the end of it all... well there were smiles all round and everyone survived!

And then we headed back to Sarah's for a nice warming cup of tea, and dress up, for which Kev was very indulgent!

And I wonder why I sit on the train lamenting the end of my annual leave!  But life goes on, but with happy, warm fuzzy feeling inducing memories to keep me going until I next get to see everyone.  Thanks. :)

It's the weekend! And thank goodness for that.

The end of another week, and what joy it brings.  I'm so tired out!  And I still can't believe that it's still only been a week and a half of work.  It feels like so much longer, but that's probably just a reflection of how busy I am.  I totally loose track of what day things happened, along the lines of explaining an incident to some one, and no actually being able to say when it happened.  Logic dicates it was yesterday, but every other fibre in my being says no, it was so much longer ago!  Craziness.

This week work has brought:

• three death certificates, waiting for me to fill out on Monday morning.  Three legal documents where I have to officially, legally decide and declare the person's cause of death.  It's quite a responsibility.  And my SHO (i.e. the person who is two years ahead of me and claims to remember what it was like to be in my situation) was very unsupportive.  We were warned on our first day that we shouldn't do the first ones alone.  That we should have someone talk us through it, and help us come to a decision about the cause of death.  He just flatly refused to do this.  And I was having the office bleeping me because the family of one of the deceased was refusing to leave until they had the certificate.  And so I pestered the SHO more to come down, and he suggested that I stay on the ward and he goes and does it.  How am I supposed to learn?  So I said no to that.  You would have thought I was asking him to give up a kidney or something.  Such a battle, then he only helped me with one, and refused to let me stay to do the other two.  Such a battle!  It shouldn't be this way.  Next time, I'll know not to even bother asking for his help on the certificates. 
• Along with death certificates, comes cremation forms.  Again, a legal document to say you have identified the body, that you don't think they died in even a remotely suspicious way (both these things can't be checked once a person is cremated!!) and you also have to declare if they have pacemakers (blow up cremetoriums if left in the body), metal work (e.g. from broken bones) or radioactive implants (can be bad to the health of cremetorium staff).  You can be held liable if something goes wrong with any of these things, so it is a huge responsiblity, which we were again told we should have our SHOs guide us through and help us with.  My SHO flatly refused, so I had to blunder my way through.  One of them had very limited notes, so I couldn't in all honesty say that they didn't have any non-human bits in them.  I was really worried and concerned about this and unsure what to do.  My SHO's advice?  "You're not confident, you have to get some confidence and just get on with it, we don't have time for this".  Not in anyway helpful.  Fortunately, I've adopted several other SHOs to go to for advice and managed to work something out.  But since I had three to do, they did take time.  My SHO's response - bleep me and ask me where I am (despite me having told him) and then ask if they can wait, since we had so much to do.  Well, no, I've already put it off for three days because of trying to get answers and help.  It's not fair on grieving relatives for me to put their funeral plans on hold indefinitely until I found some time.  But on the positive side, I do get paid for my crem forms (in addition to my usual salary) so at least my stress and worry isn't completely unrewarded.  Although, I do feel slightly guilty profiting from someone else's death, even if indirectly.
• Four consultant ward rounds, getting to know people's styles, preferences, way of doing things.  Four consultant ward rounds where my SHO in his attempt to look good in front of the consultants, has excluded me from them so that I can get the next patients notes ready, xrays and scans up and blood test results up.  I there to learn.  This is the only time I'm with the consultants and he excludes me from going to see them.  And then I get moaned at by radiologist and microbiologist, because I do the requests and prescribing, but often I don't really know why, because I wasn't able to hear the conversations had between the consultant and the patient.
• One drunken walk home by myself, after Thursday drinks out with my fellow F1s where I tried drowning my SHO stress out with a little too much wine.  (And for the record, no, no hangover, just not enough to eat, because didn't really have the time).
• One talk with a consultant late Friday night, who had noticed I was upset on the ward round (had been hiding in an office, crying on the ward clerk's shoulder because I had just been sent on a wild goose chase by my SHO and then humiliated by him in front of said consultant, thought I was composed enough to go back, but clearly wasn't).  I wanted to hug this guy.  He was so sweet, and he was talking things through, and telling me that it was a shame that I had to start on this ward, because it is so crazy and doesn't let up.  But he wants me to enjoy it and learn and benefit from it.  And was there anything that he could do to help.  I think just talking was help enough.  And I explained about the death certificates, crem forms, other issues and the ward round that had just made me feel really bad about myself and my abilities and that I just didnt feel I was supported or able to learn.  It's nice to have been able to talk about it, and he's going to have a word with my SHO, and hopefully, things will improve.
• One slice of chocolate cake from a patient's wife, who had brought it in for him, but he didn't want.  And I work so hard and deserved a treat!   People can be so lovely and it's the small things that brighten up life.
• Twice "just in case" boxes prescribed.  Annoying amounts of paper work, and depressing intentions.  It's a set of medications sent home with a palliative patient so that if they get pain, nausea etc, then they have medications that a district nurse can set up and help them with.
• One failed male catheterisation - and then a mini-lecture/discussion from the consultant urologist as to where I was going wrong (in his opinion, as he didn't actually see me try!).  Apparenly not, errmmm, straightening things up and out enough, typical girl being too gentle!  But good tip and learning point.
• One finished sweater and one nearly finished cowl, accidently (on purpose of course!! ;)) twisted.  But three days when I was just simply too exhausted to knit.  Which is sad.
• One dinner out with my flat mate and fellow ward F1.  No one understands what I'm going through more than her.  And when, one night, we were both still there on the ward after 8, she suggested we treat ourselves to an opportunity to unwind.  It was a lovely Italian restuarant, where the waiter flirted outrageously with my engaged flatmate and ended up giving us free lemoncello!  It was just what we needed.
• Three episodes of falling asleep on the sofa whilst watching things on my laptop, despite having always laughed at my parents for doing this (in front of the telly) routinely every night.  How quickly these things change!  I really will have to start thinking about sticking to better hours, and not trying to stay up watching stuff. 
• One trip to see Toy Story 3 in 3D last weekend.  Cute but not as good as I was expecting according to the hype.
• One chance to graffiti a fellow human's body with a permenant marker, outlining a rash to check it doesn't continue to spread.  She was a lovely patient and thought it halirious as I sat an doodled and tried to make sure I was doing an acurate outline, despite bad light.
• One trip to Starbucks for a hot chocolate on this rainy Saturday morning and a chance to check up on blogs and facebook.

And here I am, yawning but cozy and content that I don't HAVE to do anything for another day and a half.  Life is crazy busy, but as I said to the consultant, I really am passionate about being here and doing this, and it will take time to settle, I keep on forgetting that it's been less than two weeks.  I still have times when I'm really enjoying myself, which makes up for the times of extreme stress.

Hope you all have a good week!  And until next week, bye-bye!

Day five - finally some positive feedback

I took an extended weekend.  My original plan of coming back to Weston on Sunday morning, turned into Sunday afternoon, then Monday morning... Eventually got back at about 9pm Monday (oops!), so needless to say, didn't really do that much clerking.  But I did have a really enjoyable, relaxing, catching up, crafting weekend.  I saw friends, went to the cinema (Cemetery Junction, not bad), ate out (admittedly just at McDonald's with Harry), and did lots of spinning (literally till my fingers were sore!) and did loads of knitting, for a mystery project ;) (Those on Ravelry will be able to find out, I'm just aiming for the intended not to be on Ravelry, so that's okay!).  All in all, not the most productive revision weekend, but wonderfully relaxing and I managed to catch up on lots of sleep, which is never a bad thing.

This morning, determined to make up for lost time, I got a short list of patients deemed good for clerking by one of the junior doctors, and went to track them down.  Typically, none of them were around and then one of the other medical students called dibs when one of them appeared.  (Forgive me non-medics, we're not as heartless as that may make us sound!) After a while it got too late for me to have time to do the other patient, so I gave up and decided to go on a walk to get milk and check up on the bluebells, since it was lovely and sunny.

I think it has finally reached its peak.  And it's truely gorgeous.  There were several other people out there with their cameras (making me feel quite ashamed of mine, theirs were all newer and shinier and had nice big screens, oh envy is evil, but I still want!!), and how I do wish I was better at photography, it's just such a wonderous subject to play around with.

Following some book work this afternoon, I heading in again to attempt to find available patients, when I bumped into the SHO who was on the team I shadowed back in March.  He had done a practise long case with me then, and said he would do another and check on my progress.  And by chance, he was free.  He was very positive about my progress and said he definitely thought I'd pass if I perform like that on exam day, so I was very relieved.  He actually had very few negative things to say and was very complimentary.  I know he's not a consultant and he's never marked exams before, but he took the time (twice) to watch me and provide me with feedback, so I am very grateful and I'm sure he can't be too unrealistic about it all, especially as he still remembers his exams and what it was like.  So, that was my good news. Yay!  Now to keep it up...

Catching up

Wow, this really is a slippery slope.  Just a few days without posting everyday and then it just gets longer and longer between posts.  Oooops.  There's no particular reason for having not posted for nearly four days, it's a combo of having really dull days followed by very busy days.  And the now usual lack of sleep in Cheltenham making me exhausted.  So here we go, a quick catch up over lunch, and I have loads to say, so let's see how far I get.

I slept absolutely awfully on Sunday night, but fortunately I didn't have anything going on on Monday besides my nine o'clock seminar.  So I yawned my way home and curled up in bed and ended up sleeping for about three hours!  It was soooo needed that I don't feel entirely guilty for avoiding going to the wards and clerking.  I really don't think I would have got much benefit out of it.

Tuesday was by far my busiest day so far this week.  Nine o'clock seminar.  Followed by clerking with a friend.  First clerking I've done in weeks so it was really good to have someone there with me, as (a) kind of obliges me to get on with it! and (b) good for feedback on things that need improving on or are just a little rusty from having not done it for a while.  In the middle of my clerking, one of the other medical students came and dragged me to the corridor.  Just to let me know (at 11am) that I would be having my first exam of the year at 2pm.  Ahh, advance warning always so great!  The organisation here in Cheltenham has been rather questionable!  But there you go.  So after rattling around for a bit at lunchtime, moaning via text to Sarah (thanks for listening!) and trying to get it straight in my head how I felt about it all.  The exam was an observed long case - a new introduction to have them so early in the year this year, but basically the exam format which is responsible for me still being here at medical school rather than being out there in the big bad world, actually being a doctor.  How could I feel anything but negativity toward this exam?  Fortunately, it never really dawned in properly or felt real, so that avoided a lot of the nasty nerves.  I was surprisingly relaxed during the exam, much more so than during the exams last year.  I don't know what to make of it, but I got some very positive feedback, and I got a chance to really talk it through with the doctor who was examining me, and she said "there were no major pass/fail points" which I don't know if that meant I passed overall, or there was no one big thing that I would fail on that I really messed up.... so who knows.  I don't know when I'm likely to find out what I scored/if I passed.  So I'm just in limbo, but feeling relatively happy about it.

Then Tuesday evening I drove to Cirencester to meet up with Lorri and have dinner.  Which was lovely, and just what I needed after the unexpected exam.  I love catching up with Lorri, and she spoils me rotten when we have dinner, taking pity on the poor student.  We have a deal that with my first pay cheque, I'm going to repay the favour, but at this rate, I'm going to have to take her to Paris for a meal or maybe the Ritz or something crazy like that, either way, something big!  Lol!  I'm so lucky to have such amazing friends.  It was an okay meal, Lorri's steak was over cooked, and the humous wasn't humous, but I did have a very very tasty ginger and honey icecream for desert.  Mmmm *licks lips*!  And it was lovely just to be with a friend, and have a really good catch up.  Lorri is working and staying in Swindon at the moment, hence meeting in Cirencester, which is more of less half way between Cheltenham and Swindon, taking us each almost exactly half an hour to get there.  We're planning to do it again next week, choosing a different restaurant this time though.

Yesterday I had about as lazy a day as possible.  I was exhausted and didn't really have anything on in the hospital, so I stayed in bed (in the morning) and in my pjs most of the day.  Watched stuff on my laptop, dozed, and eventually got round to knitting a little bit, making a start on the second wrist warmer.  Eventually at about 5, I decided enough was enough and put some clothes on and forced myself to go to get milk!  Ohhh, it's a tough life I lead. Then in the evening I went with one of my course mates to go see Sherlock Holmes, making the most of Orange Wednesdays and having a cinema about a minute's walk away.  It was pretty good.  Predictably a bit about the violence and explosions.  But I did quite enjoy it, and I've been meaning to see it for ages now.  So can cross it off the list!

And here we are, back to Thursday.  I overslept this morning so was late to my teaching first thing.  Ooops.  Then am about to head in for "on call", whatever that will entail and maybe have some consultant teaching.

So I had better get going.  I have a few more things to say about my weekend, but I will have to leave that for now, but I am well excited about my plans!

Well, what is there to say?

Sometimes I really ponder the point of this blog, I really just seem to fill it with needless waffle for want of something better to say.  But is that really a problem?  I sometimes wish I was one of those people who always had deep, thought-provoking, philosophising (if that's a word) things to say... so this blog would be interesting to those who read it and somehow touch their lives.  But I'm not.  And I treat this blog very much as a form of a diary, that I suppose I really don't mind if someone else happens upon.  Not very interesting, but who says it has to be?

But then again, there are some days which just aren't really worth commenting on.  The blog definitely helps me reflect on my day, and see if there's anything special or worthwhile that has happened, and I like that.  It has helped me be more grateful, and has helped me find joy and fulfilment in the little things that make up everyday life.  I suppose a lot of this waffle is a reflection of my not really enjoying Cheltenham.  I'm finding it tedious and a little depressing.  Life is on the cusp of changing pace and focus, with the inevitable shift towards preparing for finals and all that implies.  But I don't really feel ready for that change.  And I know that part of this is pure avoidance of reality - it will become harder and harder for me to ignore why I'm here.  Why I'm having to do this all over again.  I failed.  I let myself and all my nearest and dearest down with my actions.  Starting finals prep will be a horrible and constant reminder of that fact, in a far more intense way than repeating the year and going through the motions of being on placement.  It is after all what I've done for so long now, that it just seems to be more of the same.  But exams are different.  Exams will remind me of all that has passed over the last year, and I know I will struggle with this.

It's all really well sitting here moaning about it, but I really do need to act.  I need to find the strength and the focus to do it all over again.  I need to find a way of coping with all the negative emotions that I have managed to suppress.  But I'm just not ready for that at all.

But anyways, on to the day to day...

I had one very boring tedious lecture.  Then nipped to the post office on the way home to send Sarah some more supplies.  Oh dear, I've really enabled her growing addiction!  But she isn't complaining too much.  And then I came "home" and on the whole had a very restless morning.  I sat chatting with my flatmates for quite a while, the the while beavering away at Ru's wristwarmers.  I really am not making the sort of progress I'd like, and I can't quite tell why.  At this rate I'll be working on them for at least another couple of weeks, unless I can really blitz them over the weekend.

I love the pattern and the effect.  It's a little fiddly, but I've now figured it out, so I don't need to look at the pattern or pay too much attention.  I've got about another inch to go before I start shaping for the thumb hole.

Then this afternoon I went to the cinema (oh temptation!) and saw Brothers.  It was really good, and very moving.  Definitely not one to see if you want something light hearted, but was definitely one of the best films I've seen for a while.

And then this evening?  More knitting, chatting and watching dvds, in amongst random wool surfing, wishing I had endless money and endless time to make stuff out of all the gorgeous gorgeous wools out there!  But I'm being good and most certainly have more than enough wool to keep me going.

And that's it.  Another one of those days of nothing in particular.  Back to Bristol tomorrow, and I can't wait.  Back to a reasonable temperature room, back to a comfy sofa, in front of my week's worth of sky plus stuff.  Back to my Bristol friends, who I really want to try and see this weekend.  And most excitingly, hopefully, back to a package of yarn sent from someone who's never meet me, but was inspired to share her wonderful stash!  So very excited!

Blah

Not much to comment on about today.  It was actually a very busy day - in from 9 - 4.30, boring lecture type thing on communication skills in the morning (you'd have thought someone giving a communication skills seminar would actually communicate better, and not make me want to curl up and sleep!) and ethics session in the afternoon, which got a little lively and was quite interesting.

Nipped to the bank at lunchtime to pay the credit card bill, and ended up having a review of my accounts - basically the woman trying to tell me ways to improve my financial commitments whilst I tapped my foot, glancing at the clock, thinking I needed to get some lunch and get back on time.  Hopefully this will have saved me money (in the long term at least) and eases my money worries for now.  I'm always a little skeptical in banks that they're trying to con you, so I asked lots of questions and I think she was genuinely trying to help me out.

This evening, as it was pay day, I decided to try out the cinema that is so tantilisingly close and went and saw Nine.  It was a musical, and quite interestingly shot and had an interesting way of depicting the songs and stories, but I didn't think the songs were very catchy.  All in all, I enjoyed it, but was nowhere near as lively as I was expecting. 

And then when I got back, did a couple of rows on the socks and then went round to one of the other flats for a glass of wine to celebrate someones birthday.  It was a lovely evening, and I'm very lucky to have such nice people on my placement.  There was plenty of chatting and telling of childhood stories (bizarrely enough!).  Was great fun.

And then just washed my hair and now it's past time to get ready for bed, so off I go...

Thank you God for my darling Ru-kins!

I have found time, all be it a tiny window before exhaustion takes over completely, to post a quick blog, even though it is now 2.11am (Not technically breaking my time management rules, as it's not a "school" night!).  I won't go into my next rule area tonight, I will save that till I have more time to blog about it.  So this is all about today.  Any takers for what I grateful about tonight?!

It was the last day of my placement today, which is strange in a way, and we were all rather reflective about it today as we met up for our last teaching session.  It was good to hear that other people don't think they've been as productive as they could have been - so it wasn't just me then?  We were talking about how we have to get "the fear" going to really get us motivated, and it's so true.  It's so easy to put off things we know we have to do eventually, until suddenly the immensity of the situation overwhelms and forces action.  Unfortunately for me, this fear often comes very late in the day for me! 

Then this afternoon, I decided to treat myself to a trip to the cinema.  I found out this morning that I got some tax refunded yesterday (work always do this, tax me, then end up giving it back soon afterwards when they realise that I won't be earning that much in the year after all!), not much, but still enough to afford to treat myself.  After much umming and ahhhing, I decided to go and see "Up in the air".  It was pretty good.  It's getting a lot of hype and everyone's tipping it for award's season in the US, but I don't know if it's that good.  It was slightly predictable in places, but fortunately not in all, and it was a nice fresh story (there's nothing worse than sitting though, especially if you have paid to do so, something that feels somehow so familiar).  I came so close to staying to see another movie, but then decided to be strong and not.  And then was very tempted to go and treat myself to some sushi at Yo Sushi (my true food achillies heel!), but again resisted, remembering my money rules from yesterday.  So all in all I felt very good about sticking to my rules, even if it was only after a day!  But hey, it's a start.

Then I meandered my way home, and vegged for a little while, deciding that I would tidy up in preparation for my visitor after dinner.  I made a start on my second sock, but haven't got very far.  Then I was just getting ready to heat up my dinner (I've decided to use up all the random leftover meals in my freezer, so as not to waste them, before I really buckle down with the food rules) when I decided to see if Ru had sent any word yet on her estimated time of arrival, when I noticed that being the ditzy fool I am, my phone was still on silent, and I had a couple of missed calls and a voicemail.  It was from Harry and Claire, saying that they had booked a restaurant for everyone, so we could have a little bit of a catch up, having not really seen each other since before Christmas.  Talk about in the nick of time, never got round to switching on the oven after all.  Unfortunately, they had made the reservation for less than an hours time, and it was across town for me.  So the tidying never really got done, just the bare essentials.   It was a nice little meal out, although it was at an Indian, which is not my fave sort of place to dine-out at, but I'm somewhat outnumbered in this view, and the company kinda makes up for it. And I literally just made it back home as Ru was arriving. 

And it's been wonderful.  I've really missed my Rukins.  We have so much in common, she is from Zimbabwe too, and is a medic (who passed her finals!) and is a Christian.  These are all very strong bonds for us.  And we certainly made the most of it.  Hence the writing of this blog so late.  I had with her the first really long proper chat about God and Christianity that I've had in a very long time.  It was truely wonderful and very rewarding to be able to talk to someone honestly and openly about my beliefs without worrying about offending her, or opposing her beliefs.  We also did my Bible study podcast together (WordLive podcast from Scripture Union) which was also something joyous to share.  It was wonderful to experience and grow together in our faith.  So many thanks to God for bring Ru safely back to me and for the opportunity to share with her.

So much for this being a quick/short blog.  It's now 2.48am.  Ooops, definitely time for sleep, otherwise I'll be a grumpy moo come morning!  And I have a shift tomorrow afternoon... and yet I keep on typing... can't stop... what's wrong with me?  Must sto

First day of term two

As predicted, this morning was fricking freezing.  Fortunately, there hadn't been any snow overnight, so the walk in (yes, I was good and walked!) wasn't too perilious!  And I was very proud of myself, I was actually running early!  I got in to the med school with time enough to get a drink, which I was in dire need of.  I was actually rather hot and bothered after my fifty minute walk, the last twenty of which were uphill, which was fine by me, no longer cold!  This morning however... mmm, was very similar to what we were told this time last year.  It's very frustrating, it's all about getting ready to begin work as a doctor, and it's all rather tedious.  Then it was home (admittedly on the bus, don't wanna over do it!) in the snow.  It was really pretty to watch it falling as I was all dry and warm on the bus.  And then when I got off, it was really coming down.  It was so magical, there really is just something about snow falling, just calm and serene.  Luckily, it wasn't cold enough for the snow to settle, so it was just pretty to watch.  We've been predicted crazy weather overnight (apparently upto a foot of the white stuff), so I may not be liking the snow quite as much tomorrow when I have to trek in through it. 

Fortunately though, the afternoon thing was cancelled (someone somewhere got snowed in!) so this left me an opportunity to catch up on some shopping - I'm in desperate need of new hospital trousers, I've been wearing the same ones week in, week out all of last term.  Washing them regularly though, naturally!  So I thought that since I got my student loan yesterday, I could make the most of the sales and get some new ones, which I did manage to do, for £5 from Marks and Spencer.  I also got a cheap pair of jeans, since my last pair had started to fall apart on me (literally!).  It felt like a shopping slurge!!  I also decided to treat myself to some Yo Sushi, for the first time in months.  It's pretty much my fave place to eat, and it didn't disappoint!   Mmmm, tasty non-fishy sushi. 

Then on the off chance, decided to wonder round the wool section at John Lewis, in case they had any January bargins, and they did.  So I just had to get some.  There were several that I was very tempted by, but the voice of reason reigned and I only got one type of wool, a really pretty double knit with dusky, muted tones of pink and lilac.  Really pretty, and now added to the stash, and I kinda have an idea what I want to do with it, but I'll decide for certain nearer the time. 

And finally to round off my shopping spree (mmm, I know I'll be moaning about being broke soon enough!) I went and saw Avatar, in 3D.  It was stunning and very well thought through in terms of how it looked and felt, and the 3D was very well used.  However, I thought that the story was a little preachy at times and it wasn't the strongest plot.  Having said that, I'd still recommend it, and I really enjoyed it.  It was definitely a great way to end my day out.

And then it was home, and time to get cracking on making my hat, which is coming along nicely, can't wait to see what it'll be like when it's done and I can see the pattern properly, but it looks very promising indeed.  It's also somewhat strange to be thinking about the recipient.  It's for me, which is strange, I don't normally bother making stuff for me, and I do sit and think about whoever it's going to be for, but none of that now!  Very strange indeed.

And now, it's off to bed, I did resolve to earlier bedtimes this year, so can't start failing on that just yet!  Night night!

Finally getting to eat some turkey

Yay, made it out of bed for the entire day today - I feel like progress is being made.  Even if I felt like a zombie for a significant proportion of that time!  And I even got round to eating properly, although as you may expect, with a bunged up nose, taste wasn't a big experience! 

My family and I went round to my mom's cousin's and his family for a lovely lunch of turkey curry (it is the quini-essential British thing to do with leftovers, isn't it?).  I had a serious appetite on me today after having barely eaten for two days and managed to enjoy all of the wonderful food on offer, and got to spend some lovely quality family time with everyone, something which I've also missed out on the last two days.  Again, I don't think I was really a full participant of the occasion, spending most of it sniffling, blowing my nose and feeling exhausted.  But I'm really glad I did it, was beginning to miss out on having company and it's always very important for my parents to be able to spend sometime with the whole family together (my older brother also lives away from Derby and makes it back even less than I do), even if it is just a token event.

I'm really starting to feel restless, I was really hoping to make the most of my time here in Derby, but with a cold, I feel kinda out of commission, as a lot of my friends have small children and even for those who don't, I don't really want to be going round infecting them, or making them paranoid that I'll be infecting them, and I don't know how much fun it would be for them to spend time with someone nursing the back end of a cold.  I'm hoping that tonight will be the first really good night sleep I've had since before Christmas Eve, but this will make it even more frustrating if I'm feeling rested but still coughing and sniffling.  I suppose that I could always get really stuck in with my knitting (good progress being made - now measures 17cm vs yesterday's 7cm, which may not really sound like much, but I was out most of the day!) or maybe go to the cinema as there's a couple of things on which I wouldn't mind seeing (Sherlock Holmes, Nine, Avatar) but they're both things I could do when alone in Bristol, and makes it all seem like such a waste of my valuable Derby time!  And I know I definitely don't want to be hitting the chaos that is town, because I don't really have the money to be spending and whilst I'm getting better, still don't think I will have the energy to tackle the crowds, and the lack of money (going full circle here) kind of makes it pointless.  Ohhh what to do, what to do...  I actually don't know why I'm getting so longwinded about this all here, I really should just have a proper think about it in the morning once I've had some sleep.  I'll aim for a nice lie in and then a good old bath and hair wash, drop my brother off at the train station around noon and then see how up for facing the world I really am.  This sounds like the most wise plan right now!  So off I go!

Progress is being made

Not a completely wasted day for a change.  I forced myself into a really early bedtime last night, in bed just after 11, which is hours earlier than I've been managing.  Actually manage to get a good night sleep, better than the last week or so, but still not perfect.  I was awake fairly early this morning, but still didn't manage to get on the go till lunchtime.  I'm still getting nasty, sinusy headaches.  This morning I did a bunch of catching up on emails that I've been neglecting and trying to organise myself.  I headed into the hospital just after lunch, but I never got as far as the wards.  My head was just so fuzzy and not in concentrating mode.  I didn't think that I would make much sense over the course of an hour long clerking.  So I did some research that I've been meaning to do for the last week whilst I was off, and I got a new swipe card, something else that I've been meaning to do for a while.  I was a bit annoyed at myself for not having clerked, but I do feel that I was pro-active about other stuff, and this was a huge improvement on the last few days.  So, only a small "yay!".

I also got paid today.  Not much, as it was only one shift's worth, but enough to justify giving myself a treat, so I went shopping for my Christmas tree, and did grocery shopping, hopefully enough to see me through to Christmas holidays, and got some more wool (lalala!) for a special pressie for someone special.  And I stupidly decided to treat myself to a trip to the cinema.  Boy, did I regret this.  I picked Orson Welles and Me, and it was the closest I've ever come to walking out on the cinema.  I nipped to the loo and totally didn't feel like I was missing out!  I only stayed because I thought that since I spent the money, I should stick it out.  Mmmm.... Zac Efron may look pretty to some, but I really didn't rate his acting!  The story was slow and didn't really hold my attention.  Well, that'll teach me!

So, tomorrow's course of action - clerk!!!  (Mary has found me someone who she says is pretty good.)  Tutorial in the afternoon, then all things Christmasy in the evening - decorating my tree and my cake.  :)  Can't wait!  Glad to be finally getting round to it!